Which Facebook posts annoy you the most?

Mine is the “Schoolyard Bully Post”

There are all kinds of annoying Facebook posts. And I’m sure everyone has their favorite least favorite ones. Maybe you hate the “Random Song Lyric” post. Or maybe the “Passive Aggressive Plea for Pity” posts do it for you (you know, the ones that just say something like, “Sigh.”)

For me, it’s what I call the “Schoolyard Bully” post. These posts are all over Facebook, and they always follow a specific formula:

1. Announce some really worthy cause—such as eradicating child abuse, curing cancer, or dealing with violence against puppies.

2. Say that you, being the wonderful person that you are, definitely support the cause. You think abusing puppies is bad, and you feel strongly enough about that to post it on your Facebook Page!!!! You are making a stand!!!

3. Announce that everyone should support the same cause you are so bravely supporting.

4.  Imply that anyone who doesn’t support this cause is secretly for whatever it is you’re against. So if you’re not publicly for ending puppy abuse, you are most likely a puppy abuser yourself.

5. Taunt people, like a schoolyard bully trying to get someone to eat a booger, into supporting the cause, by daring them to post the same thing on their Facebook page, all the while implying that if they don’t, they are gutless cowards and not worthy of having a Facebook page to begin with. Or maybe they are too busy abusing puppies to bother reposting your courageous post.

The strategy looks something like this, which was an actual post in my news feed:


Screen Shot 2013-04-17 at 1.30.40 PM

See that last line? “I bet 99% of you won’t!”

That’s the key to the schoolyard bully post. The dare! I used to use the same tactic on my son, when he was three. I’d say things like, “I bet you’re too small to go get me a can of pop out of the refrigerator. I bet you can’t do it!”

And of course, he ignored me, because even a three-year-old is smart enough to see through a bullshit ploy like that.

And then there’s the implied question: WHY won’t you repost? Maybe you like cancer? Or maybe you don’t want anyone donating any money to St. Jude’s? Or maybe you have a Barbie doll fetish and can’t handle seeing a bald Barbie doll?

Whatever your reason, the way the post is written implies that you are a cowardly chicken shit if you don’t repost this, and this writer KNOWS that you’re a cowardly chicken shit.

I have never once reposted something when someone “dared” me to do it. Even if it’s something I really want to repost . . . I won’t do it out of principle.

What about you? Have you been bullied on Facebook? Share with us your least favorite Facebook posts!


5 responses to Which Facebook posts annoy you the most?

  1. Robert J Holland

    I totally agree, Steve. In fact, I am now doomed to hell because I refused to repost a similar message about loving Jesus. I hate that I gave up my personal salvation due to my refusal to repost a Facebook post, but there are some things I just won’t do.

  2. steve crescenzo

    Ha! I love it, Ike. And don’t worry, Robert. I talked to the Big J. You’re all cool with him. He likes the way you treat people.

  3. Justin Keith

    Every time I see this crap I block that person and personally boycott that brand if possible. These sleazy tactics got us nowhere in the past and get us nowhere today.

    Serve, and add value. Don’t manipulate.

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